It really has been a lot of fun sharing my stories, pictures, and self-righteous opinions.  To all who read, at least occasionally, thank you.  I loved your comments and seeing my blog get more than 5 views.  I am taking this blog to a journal.  It is time for less funny and more self-evaluation.  It is time for fewer photographs and more mental pictures.  It is time to celebrate the win and start preparing for the next game.

Take care my friends.  I love you.

Tonight I started rereading.  Tonight I also allowed me to adore myself!  This is in no way meant to be cocky.  I generally assume that anything I write is for the better part, garbage, and am flattered that my friends will entertain my love of writing by reading said trash.  Rereading tonight let me read my words through different eyes.  I found myself thinking, “Who the heck is this chick?  She is hi-larious!”  I blushed and smiled smugly when I remembered that it was me.  Smugly because I got one over on myself.  (The blush was mostly from the glass of Chardonnay.)

Anyway, I need to thank you, my expansive (as in 10 – 20) audience, for reintroducing me to me!  You all inspire me to write more and to keep fighting the good fight towards a true career in writing (so I can make less than I am making now.  It will be awesome!).

So much to blog about! Where to begin?  Seeing my track record in blogging about things that happened in the past, I should probably start with my trip to Minnesota.  Also, from here on out, you should probably read this with a Minnesotan accent [think the movie Fargo (different yes, but similar), if you are unfamiliar].  Why?  Because it’s so fun, ya know!  (Anything in parentheses you can read in your regular “Katie” voice… Also, score for me for getting to use brackets!  Okay, back to the Minnesotan accent.)

Getting up to the Twin Cities really frosted my butt, don’t ya know.  Da plane outta Louisville was delayed, so I missed my connection in Chicago and hadta stay overnight.  By da time I made it up to da Cities, I was in desperate need of comfy shoes, a hot shower, and a hug.  Luckily, Beth helped me with alla dose things. Dat evening we headed up to the local watering hole, Tootsie’s.  Stephen even decided to come wit!  It’s a fun little spot fer sure.  We had some drinks, played some pull tabs den headed back to der house to relax and get to bed at a decent time.

Da next morning Beth and I got ready for da Twins game and headed over to da Nort Star station.  Der was some innerestin’ people watching after alla da people got on da train.  Thanks to a nice co-worker, Beth got great tickets, not dat it helped da Twinkies win.  We still had a fantastic time.  After a stop for a delicious deep fried dinner, we headed back to der house to cheer on da Cats and get invitations ready for Ari’s baby shower.

On Sunday, Beth and I made a big pot of chili and the tree (3) of us, settled in for a day of football and relaxin ya know.  Monday came way to quickly and soon as you know it, I was on a plane and on my way back to Kentucky.

(Okay, you can exit Minnesota speak now.)  Yes, that was not my best blog.  Minnesotan is a hard “language” to conquer!  Seriously though, this was one of the best trips I have made to Minnesota.  I didn’t get sick once and we really had an amazing time.  Besteban (their couple name) are phenomenal hosts.  I always loathe leaving.  Now for what you really want, pictures!

With giddy (yes, giddy.  I have worked there for two and a half years and I get excited over anything new) anticipation I entered a stall in the ladies room, and there it was… a green handle!  …and a sign. I was immediately disappointed, but decided to give the bad boy a go.  To flush liquid, one was to pull the handle up.  To flush… well the other stuff, one was to push the handle down.  I did my handle up business and yanked the handle towards the Heaven’s above, all the while wondering why the makers of this contraption wouldn’t have reversed the flushing mechanism.  I mean, aren’t we all more acclimated to push the handle down?  And don’t we all make more liquid waste than… the other stuff?  I immediately noticed the loud whoosh of energy efficiency; tons more air than water.  Brilliant! I thought, then looked down.  The toilet paper was still against the side of the commode.  Okay, I thought, That was fluke.  Let’s give it another go.  Handle towards the sky, again!  I looked down, again.  The toilet paper was still there.  Aw, forget it, I thought.  This time I pushed the handle down.  Finally, the toilet paper vacated the bowl.

More than slightly annoyed, I exited the stall to wash my hands.  I turned on the sink that used to gush blessedly hot water.  (In my humble opinion, if the College of Ag. wants to save money and become more green, they should be a bit less zealous about the AC in the summer)  Out came a pthhhhhh of water.  Nothing.  It was like the faucet was spitting on my hands.  Prior to going green, washing my hands took 20-30 seconds.  Now it takes oh… about 15 minutes.  How’s that for energy efficiency?  Weary over my bathroom experience and actually excited to get back to my desk, I hit the brand new “green” hand towel dispenser.  Vehhhhh.  About 3 inches of paper towel come out and it stops. So I wave my hand again.  Vehhhhh. Three more inches.  REALLY? I think. I take my 6 inches of paper towel and move to exit the bathroom.  Vehhhh. My shoulder has accidentally triggered 3 more inches of towel.  I walked out vowing to eliminate coffee, water, and all other forms of liquid from my weekday diet.

We are currently about 4 weeks into this energy efficiency experiment and I have learned a few things.  Number 1, I can’t live without coffee, water, or carbonated beverages.  Number 2, if you want to flush the toilet paper, you either have to strategically bank shot the wad of paper off your bare ass, or use the ‘handle down’ flush.  (Man, they were literal when they set it up liquid vs. solid!) Number 3, a little soap goes a long way when it comes to energy efficient sinks.  And number 4, (poor Kermie) it ain’t easy being green.

In my 29th year I started reading listening to The Help by Kathryn Stockett, for a Girl’s Night Out meet up.  At the meet up, we were all at different points in reading the book so we decided to ix-nay book discussions in favor of something else.  I knew that I wanted to finish the book so I have dedicated hours of “reading”  listening to it.  This book has been with me through my morning jogs, driving to and from work, typing up grants, and cooking breakfast for dinner.  It is being made into a movie, which also lit the fire under my ass.  If a book is made into a movie, I would prefer to read the book before I see the movie, if for no other reason than to mock the big screen for the collective inability to display the heartbeat of the book.  The movie opened today and I must say, the reviews are all-in-all, pretty good.

The next read that I have started on is called, A Good Omen.  It is another LibrARIan recommendation and I already love it!  Ari has single-handedly turned me on to the most funny books I have ever read.  The literature for it’s comedic value began so many years ago at Wicked, by Gregory Maguire.  At the same time she found Wicked, I found Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister.  I believe it was at that moment that we realized that not only were we lifetime friends; we were also going to be the best of book buddies.  Since then, she, Beth, and I have passed around books like crack pipes (except books are SO MUCH HEALTHIER than crack pipes).  Ari introduced both of us to the demi-god known as Christopher Moore.  He rattles off the most hilarious fiction in the same way a line cook pours out sausage gravy on the most fluffy buttermilk biscuits.  Yeah, it’s that good.  I freaking love reading, and so do these two.  Because of them I have read so many things that I would have never touched without them.  So ladies, I need 12 more… any suggestions?

As for my other goals, I am working patiently through the process that is Golden Retriever Rescue adoption.  I desperately want the right one.  I can’t say that I haven’t been let down to this point, but I am definitely taking it in stride.  I know that our right doggie is out there.

I was chugging along through the article when my eyes stopped dead in their tracks… or whatever eyes do when they stop moving forward.  The line I read went something like this, “One of the first exterminators in London, Sir Blankity Blank, referred to bed bugs as Buggs.  Yes, Buggs.  As in my former married name, Bugg.  (How’s that for emphasis?)  I also know that my ex-husbands lineage is based in England.  I shuddered and immediately did what anyone with this new-found information would do and told everyone that was readily available, which in this case was Celeste, Beth, and Ari.  Ari promptly informed me that this is my cosmic fate twist.  According to Ari, everyone gets one.  If this is true, I do feel a little shat upon by said cosmos.  Bed bugs, we couldn’t come up with anything better?

I constantly question why friendships tend to be so easy, yet intimate relationships tend to be a lot tougher.  Sure, you don’t usually live with your friends (wait a minute, I may have just answered my own question…) but it seems to be more than that.  In my unending quest to find the perfect formula for a great relationship I stumbled upon what could be the most accurate article about relationships that I have ever read.  Regardless of your relationship status, I highly recommend you read it here.  Here is the part of the blog where I would like to insert some incredibly witty and laugh out loud worthy insight.  I’ve got nothing, but lucky for you, the author of the article does; and she is far more witty and insightful than I could be on this topic!  I appreciated the article and hope you enjoy it.

1. Find a new job.
2. Lose 10 pounds.
3. Pay off at least 1 credit card.
4. Build a comfortable savings account.
5. Travel somewhere with just Redden.
6. Travel somewhere new.
7. Take a class.
8. Read 15 books.
9. Visit a new restaurant in Lexington.
10. Make a challenging recipe.
11. Help Redden apply for SCAPA.
12. Find a church and actively participate.
13. Complete a Tough Mudder.
14. Help in a Habitat build.
15. Take a day off just for me.
16. Adopt the right dog.
17. Assign Redden a chore and teach him how to keep up with it.
18. Blog at least once a month.
19. Spend a day cooking with Mom.
20. Make a new friend.
21. Plan an international trip for 31.
22. Give (or throw) away 10 things (not including clothes no longer in use).
23. Send a care package.
24. Host a dinner party.
25. Hike a trail I have never hiked before.
26. Learn to make (and master) Mom’s gravy and stuffing.
27. Run in a race I haven’t run in before.
28. Buy something frivolous.
29. Repair something that is broken at home.
30. Eat a new food.

Big list?  Yes.  Duh.  The point is less about completing the list, and more about putting myself out there.  Don’t get me wrong, I hope that I knock all of this stuff out of the ball park, plus some.  Regardless of what I cross of this list, my ultimate goal this year is to start my 30s off with a bang.  The bonus is the possibility of some great blog content.  Let’s see where this takes us.

See, spilled milk is easy to avoid.  As I have discovered over the past year, the DMV… is not.  Last year, oh about May, I discovered that the DMV of New Mexico had decided to threaten the suspension of my Kentucky license.  ’Stupid threats,’ I scoffed.  Until it actually happened.  New Mexico suspended my Kentucky license over a ticket received in Ohio.  Duly note that I have never lived in, nor have I been licensed in, New Mexico.  They (New Mexico) became a part of this because of a typo.  Yes, a TYPO.  Instead of listing Lexington, KY, the charging officer input Lexington, NM.  And to my chagrin, even though there in no actual Lexington, NM, the DMV of New Mexico has taken it upon themselves to enforce my Ohio traffic ticket.

I won’t bore you with the details.  Suffice to say that I handled the situation, including paying the traffic ticket and dealing with the release of my suspended license.  Fast forward to July 2011 and another letter from New Mexico.  At this point, my head is spinning like that poor girl in the original Exorcist.  The letter is almost identical to the one that was sent a year and a few months previous.  They are threatening to suspend my license over a ticket received in Ohio of 2009.  A ticket that was handled over a year ago.  Proof that the DMV is run by the devil himself.

The good news is that I have my trump card, all the paperwork from last year.  Apparently, between 29 and 30, I learned something.  Right now I am flexing my muscles, pounding my chest, and wagging my butt at these stupid DMV letters.

I recognize the fact that most of the time, life totally wins.  It beats us at our best laid plans, our happiness, our hopes and dreams;  but sometimes we punk it.  Sometimes we get the upper-hand.  Sometimes we show the trump card.  Sometimes we pull one over on life.  Today, with my previous documentation, I did just that.  Boo-yah.