Okay so that is one of the first things that come to mind when I think of Kindergarten. You all remember Schwarzenegger’s most famous role (aside from Governor of CA of course) don’t you? Yes, Kindergarten Cop is definitely one of his finer movies if you ask me.
Anyway, back on subject. I am thinking about Kindergarten because my little Reddenator-gator (his official nickname de jour) started school on Wednesday. And we aren’t talking about K-4. We are talking the real deal – kindergarten. I told him that when I got home from work, I wanted to hear all about it. He was definitely prepared to give me the run down. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I will tell you that his favorite parts of the day were science class and China class (aka Chinese class) and that he was not able to finish his pretzels because lunch ended before he was finished (they aren’t being cruel, he is just a slow eater).
Wednesday night he was so tired that he went straight to bed without a fuss. He was also very excited for his second day. Little did we know then that his second day of school would actually be the first day he would miss school.
You see, around 1 am I awoke to the sound of Redden bawling. His tummy hurt. I asked him if he needed to use the bathroom and he said “yes”. I thought that would be the end of it. I thought wrong. Mere minutes later I heard him intermittently vomiting and crying. I raced into his room to find him hunched over his trash can. After recovering from the brief bout of nausea I took him into the bathroom to give him some Pepto and let him use the bathroom. I figured that he had a case of diarrhea and that it was making him nauseous. Again, I thought wrong. No sooner had put him back to bed and found a comfy spot in my own bed, did I hear him vomiting and crying again. This time it was worse. This time not only was it coming up, it was also squirting out the back onto the floor. He wailed as he said, “Momma I pooped myself!” I tried to contain my own (very sensitive) gag reflex as I got him in the shower. After getting him cleaned up, I rubbed his back for a while then headed to bed once more. I had only been down for a couple of minutes when I heard the sound of Redden running to the bathroom. Immediately I did the same. The poor thing was loosing the battle with the toilet for his insides. All I could do was comfort him as he cried in pain. Never before have I seen him so miserable due to an illness. Finally, after a long time on the toilet he seemed to feel better and I tucked him back in with some more back rubbing.
The next morning as I debated whether or not to send him to school, I prayed to God that He would send me a sign as to what to do. God is faithful and answers quickly. Minutes later, as Redden sat in the living room picking at his breakfast he shrieked, “Momma, I went potty on myself again! It was an accident!” I instantly knew that I had my answer.
Luckily, Dr. Oma was available to give the best love and care a kid could get and by the time he got to me, he was back to his old self.
So today he is happy to be back at school and I can’t wait to hear what new things he learned and did. I just hope that he doesn’t come home with another new virus.
Happy Friday everyone! For your viewing pleasure, may I introduce, Twinkle Toes Redden!
On Tuesday Neil picked Redden up from school. What follows is a piece of the dialogue that occurred while they were driving.
Redden: I got in trouble today. 
Neil: What did you do?
Redden: I don’t remember.
Neil: I’m not stupid. What did you do?
Redden: I know you are no stupid Daddy. I think I said a potty word.
Neil: What did you say?
Redden: I don’t remember.
Neil: Redden, Jesus and Santa Claus know. Now tell me what you said!
Redden: Well, if Jesus and Santa know, why don’t you ask them?
Happy Faux-Friday all!
On Friday I discovered that I have a growing boy on my hands. Yes, Redden is getting tall; however, he is also growing in other aspects. He is… how do I say this… maturing.
We were driving home from a fun filled day of work (for me) and Kid’s Place field trip (for Redden) when Redden started talking about Deidra’s graduation. For you who don’t know the name, Deidra is one of Redden’s D named cousins. Devon, Delaney, Deidra, and Delia for future reference.
As we approached a bridge near our house, Redden began telling me about one of Deidra’s classmates (and friend). He told me that her name is Sadie. He began, “Momma, Sadie looked so beautiful!”
I said, “Oh, did she?”
He said, “Yeah, she was wearing a beautiful dress.”
I said, “Yeah?”
Then the punch line came. He said, “Her body looked so beautiful!”
At that moment we were crossing the bridge and I nearly wrecked. I had to stop myself from screaming, yelling, and laughing! I knew that it was innocent, but everything in me has been ingrained to view a comment like that as utterly wrong.
How do you address something like that? I think I awkwardly stumbled over that by saying, “Oh, wow…” Yes, I admit, not the best way to handle it. But I didn’t (and frankly, still don’t) know what to say to that!
I know that all of you with kids can and will commiserate. And for those of you that are contemplating or approaching parenthood, look out. 
Good Morning!
I was inspired to start a particular thread this morning. And based on the title of this post, I am sure you can guess it. Without further ado, I give you the first installment of Funny Redden Moments.
I awoke this morning to the sounds of the birds chirping, Cookie snuffling around on his bed, and the sunlight peaking through our blinds. Then I panicked. I realized that I had overslept. Clearly, half a week of early rising and busy days were taking their toll on me. I looked at the clock; it was 6:12am. In order to let Cookie out at lunch and go on my daily twin run I need to be at work by 7am. I knew I didn’t have time to freak out and that getting Redden and myself out the door was going to take a well orchestrated plan of attack. Well that, and a miracle.
After addressing the first items of business (taking Cookie out and getting myself dressed), I stormed into Redden’s room like a bull into a china shop. As I flipped on the lights and opened the closet door with a flourish, my goal was not only speed, but to wake Redden up with a start. I threw together an outfit for Redden and laid it out on the bedroom floor then commanded Redden awake. As he sat swaying back and forth like a drunken hobo, I told him that his clothes were laid out on the floor and that as soon as he was dressed he needed to join me in the bathroom for a quick session of teeth brushing.
As I proceeded to toss my hair into a ponytail and make myself presentable, I noticed that it was taking Redden a long time to put on a t-shirt and jogging pants, so I hurried into his room once more.
I really started to get agitated when I looked at the floor where I had laid his clothes and found that they were all still there. I thought to myself, that darn boy is piddling around when I told him that we needed to hurry. As I put on my mean-mommy face and prepared to give Redden a stern nagging, I turned the corner into the closet. There was Redden, dressed to the nines in a pair of navy blue and red Superman shorts, periwinkle and sage polo shirt, and an upside down army green fleece jacket! I couldn’t help but smile as he looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I can’t find any socks!”
Later, after directing him to the more uniform look and hustling us out the door, we were sitting in the car saying our morning prayers. Apparently the abrupt start to the morning had put him in a very precocious mood, as he usually just wants me to say the prayers. However, this morning he jumped right into them. He gave thanks for the day, the good night of sleep, his hunger and thirst (that is another blog), Cookie, his friends and toys, then said “Amen.” As I started giving thanks, he jumped in saying, “I have something else!” I told him to go ahead.
“Dear God, thank you for all the churches,” he started, “so that we can pray about God and stuff.”
Happy Thursday all! Here’s to the fast approaching long weekend, sweet moments, and best of all – God and stuff.
