4th Quarter Katie

I’ve got a prankster on my hands.  I better watch out!  Today I picked Redden up from school.  He has a bad habit of leaving his coats at school; often never to be found.  Today was also the day that his dad decided to lay down the law.  Neil told Redden that if he didn’t bring home the two jackets that he had left Friday and Monday, he (Redden) would be grounded for the rest of the week.

Knowing that this was very concerning to Redden I hopped off the phone and committed myself to help him finding said jackets.  As we sorted through the pile of coats, hats, gloves, scarves, and the Lord only knows what else, I asked Redden if maybe they were in the gym.  He said he would go look while I stayed and looked in the cafeteria.  He ran off and soon I saw a jacket that looked vaguely familiar.  I picked it up and saw Redden’s name written inside.  I smiled ruefully as I headed towards the gym to help Redden there.

He met me halfway with an ear to ear grin.  He had both missing jackets!  I was pretty proud of us and the fact that we had found not two, but three missing coats.  As we headed to the car, Redden got a conspiratorial smirk on his face and said, “Momma, I’ve got an idea.  Lets play a joke on Daddy.  Let’s tell him that I didn’t find my jackets.”  I knew that Neil would be none too pleased if Redden called him and said, “Daddy, I didn’t find either of my jackets.” so I quickly clued him in via text message that Redden was going to play a joke on him.  However, Redden called too quickly for Neil to get the message.  As Redden giggled while handing me the phone I tried to stifle my chuckles.  Neil got on the phone and me thinking that he already knew what was going on, played along with Redden’s gag.  It became apparent almost immediately that Neil believed our ruse.

I laughed as I got off the phone, realizing that Redden was actually playing a real joke on his father.  Eventually I received a text from Neil saying, “It would have helped if I had gotten this message before Redden called.”  I laughed out loud and told Redden that his Daddy was going really mad.  Redden just giggled and said, “I can’t wait to see the look on his face!”  As we grabbed a bite to eat and got ready for soccer practice, Redden discussed all the things he would say to carry the joke forward.

Upon meeting up with Neil at soccer practice, Redden did his best to look upset, but wasn’t so convincing.  Neil got out of his truck and said something to the effect of, “Redden you are in big trouble.  I told you to find those jackets.” and “Why are you smiling?  Do you think this is funny.”  Redden giggled gleefully and pranced to my car.  He swung open the door and presented Neil with the offering of his three coats.  We all had a good laugh as Redden ran off to play with his soccer friends, so proud of himself for pulling one over on his dad.

We crazy Garritys’ come from what I am sure is a long line of jokesters.  In fact, I am pretty sure that Neil does too.  If he is starting this at 6, I can only imagine what I am in for over the coming years.  I love it!

Redden - innovator of jokes and the future of Apple

So when I last left you, I had just fought an epic battle against the giant hill.  My war with Moorea was not over yet with however.  As the time there wore on, I began to feel sicker and sicker.  It culminated the evening before we were to head back to Tahiti with me bowing down to the porcelain god.  After that I decided to call it an early evening and headed to bed.  I tossed and turned as I waited for sleep to come.  An hour or two later, I realized it would not come without some help so I stumbled through the dark down the stairs to take half an Ambien and read for a bit.  I grabbed the Ambien and scanned the counter for my water bottle.  There were several there so I made my best guess and grabbed one.

No sooner had I filled the bottle a quarter of the way and begun downing the Ambien/water elixir when I felt something in the back of my throat.  I gagged and sputtered as I tried to figure out what I had just swallowed.  Then it hit me – Bethany had been collecting mosquito larvae in a water bottle!  Luckily, she had transfered the larvae into another container.  But what was left was the tree dirt from the breeding ground where she had been collecting.  My stomach sank in horror, not knowing what kind of funk I might catch from drinking the foul substance.  With nothing to do but watch and wait I resolved myself with the time honored saying – “What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.”

And indeed it did.  The next morning I felt like a million bucks.  Apparently the mosquito larvae infused tree dirt has some very effective medicinal properties!  As I relayed my tribulation to the group, everyone had a good chuckle realizing that I am drawn to catastrophe.  That morning we headed back to Tahiti.  I immediately left with a group to go do some honest to goodness apartment hunting.  We visited a couple of really cute places and finished up our work with several hours to relax.  Later that evening after speaking with another landlord I learned that my Tuesday of relaxing (the following day) would not be happening.  There were meetings planned and lots of running around to be done.

That is how I found myself getting lost in paradise and finding my way back.  Me and my trusty stick-shift navigated the roundabouts and steep hills while jamming to Shania Twain and some excellent foreign pop.  By early afternoon I was hot and tired.  I pleaded out of a group outing and headed to the bar for some much needed Corona and down time.

That night we headed to the airport to end our adventure in French Polynesia. The flights home were uneventful aside from some interesting characters on the airplane.

It was an incredible and life-changing experience.  I can’t believe how one trip can change one’s perspective.  I am glad to be home, but I can’t wait until next year!

The next few days were wrought with meetings, planning, and as it comes with me, comedy.

In French Polynesia most of the vehicles are manual transmissions, not automatic.  Thanks to my dear dad, I have had the pleasure of learning how to drive a stick shift.  He even prepared me for the hills with several late nights in downtown Lexington.  However, I was ill prepared for the beast of a hill that lead to our bungalows.

The other problem with vehicles made for this foreign country is that everything that one would think would be on the outside of the seat, was on the inside.  The window controls are on the middle console as well as the seat adjustment lever.  I did not know this when I first drove our Land Rover.  I needed to run up to the bungalow to grab my camera and some documents, however it was a pretty long walk.  So I decided to jump in the Land Rover and make a quick trip up the hillside.  WRONG!  As I sat at the front edge of the seat to dominate the lengthy clutch, the words of Dr. Dobson came into my mind. “If someone doesn’t know how to handle this hill while driving a stick shift, they could very easily find themselves in the woods.”  As the vehicle fought me up the steep curvy road I realized that this person Dr. Dobson was speaking of could very easily turn out to be me.

The SUV sputtered to a stall just as I was about to take a sharp left up this hill.  I began to get antsy as I fretted over how I was going to make this happen.  Three stalls later and I was desperately searching for the seat adjustment lever that would help me tame the clutch.  Still unable to find the lever I mustered my shear hosebeast determination and squalled the tires as I swung around the curve.  After stalling several more times, I finally made it to the top of the hill where the bungalows were.  With shaky hands I grabbed the things I needed and prepared myself for the drive down the hill.

Upon arriving at the conference center I knew that I had to make that hill mine.  I immediately began planning my next drive up.  Luckily, that happened sooner rather than later.  I approached the vehicle with the confidence of an adventurer going on her second trek into the wild unknown.  I swung open the door and promptly found the lever on the right side of the drivers seat, rather than the left.  I got myself adjusted and pealed out of the gravel parking spot.  With much gusto I bounded up the hill with the radio blaring and hot Moorea wind blowing on my face.  In that instant, that hill became my bitch.  Little did I know that it wanted to fight back.

A couple days later, after a wonderful afternoon of snorkeling, we were down the hill in the meal hall enjoying local cuisine and beverages.  The group decided to head up to the bungalows to continue the festivities.  I was about to walk out when I noticed that Randy had hung behind to clean up.  I decided to help him, figuring we could walk up the hill together.  Everything was going as I had thought when suddenly he broke off from me at the conference center.  I decided to go on my own.  It was bright enough where I was and figured I could get back without an issue.  WRONG again.

Everything was fine until I hit the area of forest cover.  It was as black as it could be and I felt blind.  Being the kind of girl that can think on her feet, I quickly realized I could listen to the sound of pavement against my flip-flops to know that I was heading in the right direction.  This carried me up most the hill and over the bridge that led to our bungalow.  

All of a sudden I realized that I did not hear the flip-flap that had gotten me so far.  I immediately froze and thought, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.”  I did see a light in front of me.  It was a bungalow.  Clearly I was going the right way; I just needed to find the path again.  So I took one step to the left; nothing.  Okay, this time two steps to the right; still nothing.  Two steps back to the center and now three steps to the left.  ”Crap.” I thought.  The only thing I knew to do from there was to do a 180 and slowly walk back the way I came.  Two to three steps in I found the concrete path.  With much humility I bent over and put my hands on the ground.  The only way I wasn’t going to sleep in the woods was by bear crawling my way up the hill.  I hadn’t gotten more than 15 feet when I realized that the light I had been looking at was coming from a bungalow deep in the woods.

I finally made it back and hid behind the safe light of my laptop.

Upon arriving in Moorea we were met by the most hospitable culture imaginable.  Heavenly perfumed flowers and fresh pineapple were distributed freely at the dock.  I coordinated the collection of luggage and instructed meeting participants on where to go and who to ride with.  I received a special treat on the drive to Gump Station.  Randy, one of UK’s researchers was driving and stopped at the top on a mountain to let me take pictures of Cook’s Bay.  It was breathtaking to see the ultramarine and cerulean blues of the ocean.  The overwater bungalows sat in the lagoon like little thatched huts waiting for their natives.

We arrived at Gump Station to the welcome of Val, the most amazing site coordinator ever.  She promptly got us to the meal hall for the freshest sashimi and french bread one could ever taste.  With full bellies we headed to our bungalows.  I was overwhelmed by the activities, sites, and introductions of the day and elected to rest for a bit at the bungalow while others went out on boats.  I felt like I would be needed for the cocktail party that was happening in a few hours and needed time to write and take in the view.

As I sat on the deck, reflecting on this new experience and listening to my favorite chill out music, Augustana, I heard the laughter of the Poylnesian contingency on the deck of the next bungalow over.  I went to the edge to ask if my music was too loud, to which they replied that they loved it and turn it up.  I decided to take the sage advice of a dear mentor and put myself out there.  I grabbed a glass of wine and headed over to make friends.  Most of the guys did not speak English; however, there was one who was fluent in English, French, and Polynesian.  We spent hours laughing, sipping drinks, and acting out our words.  I learned the stories of Tahiti and Moorea, as well as a few new Polynesian words.  I am still moved by the memory of this.  So often, we as Americans spend so much time thinking about what people think of us and how our words are coming across.  There, with that language barrier, life was at it’s easiest.  I have never been so free from my own thoughts.

That evening we as the group had an amazing time drinking horrible Polynesian wine and beer, and getting to know one another.  That night I drifted into a peaceful sleep with the fullness of a soul contented.

At this point I am going to reference a previous post: What a Wreck! written at the beginning of December.  Somehow I knew it wasn’t the last that I would hear of that woman.

Today I received a phone call from State Farm.  The woman that I bumped into that icy morning is filing a claim.  Guess how much money she wants?  $35,000 (yes, that is 3 zeros on the end).  I guess she wants me to put her kid through college.  I am so steamed.  Why are people like that??  Luckily the State Farm rep was very sympathetic towards me and had the “pleasure” of dealing with the woman’s stellar attitude.  They have already fixed her car – the damage was minor and the bill was low.  They have also received her bill for the trip to the ER – just over $1000 (which is easy to do when you ride in an ambulance and get some X-rays).  So where the heck is the $35,000 worth of bodily injury??  

Thanks to the police officer, my pictures, the low bills, and her flowers and sugar personality, there is no way (knock on wood) that she will get the money she is claiming she’ll sue for.  But still… what a jerk.  Some people will spend more time figuring out how they can make money avoiding work than by actually working for an income.  And leave it to me to find them on the streets.

Hi my blog readers!  Did you miss me?  Rest assured that I have some great blogs coming about my trip; but right now I will give you this little tidbit…

What is LA without seeing a “star” or two?  Being confined to the airport I didn’t have very high expectations in this regard so naturally I wasn’t looking.  Imagine my surprise when I turned around in a concourse coffee shop and came face to face with a man that I recognized!  It took me a moment… My initial thought was, “I know him!  Did I go to school with him?”  Then it hit me… It was Ted (Josh Radnor) from How I Met Your Mother!  I kept thinking, “Should I say something?  What do I say?  He probably wants to be left alone…”  As we awkwardly shuffled around the coffee station, waiting for the carafe to be refilled, grabbing lids and napkins, I kept thinking, “Katie!  Say something!” and “Oh my gosh, it’s TED!!”

Some of you may know that How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite TV shows so I was giddy as a school girl (or maybe that was the exhaustion talking.)  I couldn’t think of anything witty and fun to say so I decided to do the next best thing; go tell the people I was with!  I scurried over and blabbed my sighting and there was a quick flurry of bodies rushing to casually position themselves for a sighting as well.  One of my fellow travelers tapped me as I was working on my laptop and said, “Oh my gosh, he is on our plane!”  I grinned foolishly and prepared myself for my second and third sighting.  

I was ultimately glad that I didn’t say anything.  He seemed like he was really trying to avoid contact with anyone but the gorgeous Asian girl on his arm.  But I am pleased to say, I saw him 5 or 6 times and not once, tripped or did anything else clumsy!  

Have any of you ever come face to face with a celebrity?  E-beth, how many times have you??